I received a call from a client this week and it began with “She crossed the line!”
Actually, I heard from a lot of clients this week with the same thing happening. It seems to really flare up around holidays.
They all had the same issue, and it sounds something like this:
- She crossed the line!
- People are taking advantage of me.
- I can’t stop overdelivering.
- I’m not being treated like I deserve to be treated.
Newsflash.
It’s not about them.
It’s about you.
UGH! Yes, that again.
You have taught people how to treat you, even though It’s way easier to blame them. I see many people get in this cycle of over-delivering and then feeling like a victim or a doormat. It comes from a lack of boundaries.
There is another way.
You can give of yourself and not be taken advantage of. It takes some practice to learn how to come from that place of deep knowing inside of you, like when I say Own Your Power. You have the ability to set boundaries and begin to respond instead of reacting to people and situations.
Here are 3 tips to bring you back to joyful giving:
- Learn how to say no. It may sound simple, but it is the way to start. Only say yes to that which brings you joy, even though whatever it is may not get done if YOU don’t do it. What is the worst thing that can happen?
- Get real about WHY you say yes when you really want to say no. Do you give to give or are you giving to get? If you have expectations when you give, and those expectations of others are not met, that can leave you feeling like a doormat and a victim. There is a very big difference in giving to give and giving to get.
- Feel your way into giving to give freely. There is real joy and magic in shifting into generosity and out of old ways of obligation, fear and old patterns. Savor the magical difference of being unattached to any expectations and experiencing what heart opening giving feels like!
How you do anything is how you do everything. Boundaries, old patterns and overdelivering shows up in how you personally express yourself, and it also shows up in how you conduct your business.
I invite you to look at where these issues show up in your life and business.
Are you willing to take some steps to change it? Why or why not?
I would love to hear from you around this subject.
PS – If you would like to talk about this further, schedule with me