Thunder, lightning and hail helped me decorate the Christmas tree this year.
As I am writing this, hail is pelting against the windows and doors. That is an eerie sound in the spring and even more so on December 2nd!
Since I was a kid, I have loved the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree. I have always been the only one in my family that really loved it (or partook in the activity).
I know now that when the kids were young (I divorced when they were 2, 7 and 9), I put WAY too much pressure on them to help fulfill what I wanted and needed. They griped as we played Bing Crosby and untangled lights together inside and outside. Katy announced multiple times…“When I get older I am PAYING someone to put up these lights!” That one still makes me laugh.
My expectations didn’t stop there of course…
- There were dinners and breakfasts that had to be expertly prepared and served at just the right time.
- Tables were to be set with the special Christmas china.
- The kids all had to be dressed in their best “Bib and Tucker” and matching pajamas to open their presents.
- And don’t forget about the yearly trip downtown to wait in line and get the perfect picture with the “best” Santa who had the real beard…
It’s SO exhausting to think about it all.
Something had to give. And it did.
The more I learned through coaching and about myself, the need to play out the unhealthy expectations I had for myself and my family disappeared little by little. Christmas, holidays and birthdays stopped turning into constant arguments and the feeling of being let down was no more.
What the holidays “had to be” is just one example of how these underlying expectations played out in my daily life and stopped me from owning my power and living in the moment.
One of the biggest gifts I ever gave myself (and my kids) was releasing unrealistic expectations of myself and others.
Each year I do what I feel like doing and nothing else. I don’t pressure them to do or “be” anything other than who they are.
I still love the feeling at Christmas and I have really enjoyed learning the origins of many of our customs.
I enjoyed the pelting hail and thunderstorm this year as I carefully got the ornaments out one by one. Remembering what was going on when I bought that one, or which kid made this one, or who bought me that one. I love the picture of my Dad – it’s the second Christmas without him. It’s like a trip down memory lane every year.
Here are some of the ones on my tree this year:
I share this with you in hopes that you can find peace and a way to release unhealthy expectations of yourself and others.
I would love to hear from you and what you think would help you find the way to release what no longer serves you during the holiday and everyday life. That is one of the clear paths to sheer joy, success and pleasure!
All the best during the holidays! I know they can be a difficult time as much as they are enjoyable!
If you need any support and guidance on releasing unhealthy expectations during this holiday season, please reach out to me HERE. I’m here to help.